Mother left with child

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    • #1979
      Gibson39501
      Participant

      Mother left with 5mt old while father was at work. took all clothes etc.  There have been statements of wife abuse and child abuse.  Father is going through something.  He will not let baby sleep in crib, holds baby constantly, walked away with baby on evening and didn't return for 4 hrs.  Baby is still breast feeding.  He is overly controlling and paranoid.  Wife is married to US citizen but not citizen yet.  Baby was born here.What does she need to do to protect herself.  Husband called NOPD...they have been there many times,  Was told there is nothing they could do.....but he inisisted on filing a missing persons report. He is now going to file a "do not leave"  order preventing her from leaving the country.....    Wife is with friends in an undisclosed location.  Should she send a message that she and baby are ok....she is not answering any of his calls or text msgs.She is not getting good advice from friends...we told her to go to Domestic Violence Shelter....and they could help her.  There were never any "charges" filed just accusations ... and CPS was called in.What is her 1st legal move so that she is not charged with abandonment?She needs to make sure she is doing this legally.... 

    • #2399
      Lex
      Participant

      “Father is going through something.  He will not let baby sleep in crib, holds baby constantly, walked away with baby on evening and didn't return for 4 hrs.  Baby is still breast feeding.  He is overly controlling and paranoid.  Wife is married to US citizen but not citizen yet.”Need clarification here. Are father and husband the same person? If he is not a U.S. citizen then he must be a Green Card resident -is that right? If father and husband are same person, what country is he from?

    • #2400
      3kidsmom
      Participant

      She has a lot more concerns than being charged with abandonment. Her biggest fear should be having the baby taken and either given to the father or put in foster care. In America she cannot run and hide with the child unless she has the appropriate legal paperwork, and it is going to be hard to get. (This assumes the father is on the birth certificate). First, you say Father won't let baby sleep in crib and holds baby constantly. In some circles here in America, that's considered perfect parenting. Depending on who she gets as a judge or evaluator, that may be in his favor. Second, walking away with baby and not returning for four hours is his right, unless there is a court order that says he can't. About breast feeding, the courts have repeatedly ruled that the other parent can even have overnight visitations with nursing babies; mom can either pump in advance (best) or dad can give forumula (not as good in terms of maintaining breast feeding). As to being overly controlling and paranoid, only the court will decide that. He may just be worried that the mom is going to take off with his child. The newish laws in place are designed to prevent that. "statements" of wife and child abuse are nothing. Anyone can make a statement. ANYONE. It doesn't make it real. As to NOPD saying there is nothing they can do, if the right officer comes to the house, assuming father is on the birth certificate, there ARE things they can do. As a matter of fact, if mom has gone over the state line, it would be very bad news for her because it would be a federal crime. Regardless of whether you or mom like dad and regardless of whether he is a citizen, not a citizen, on the birth certificate, not on the certificate, and abusive or not abusive, filing a 'do not leave' order is the right thing to do. The baby is a US citizen and needs to stay in the US until all of the issues are decided.If she has never filed any police reports and doesn't have any evidence, she's going to have a very hard path in this. You say CPS was called. Who were they called about, mom, or dad? What was the outcome? All of these things are going to make a huge difference.Taking a baby this age from what APPEARS to be a stable home, with no proof anything ever happened, is a very "iffy" thing. Mom needs to contact a shelter and see a counsellor there. The shelter can offer some clarity, and may be able to help mom get the letter from CPS (there will be a letter that says who was at fault, or who was not at fault, and what the outcome was). If the shelter agrees Mom was abused, they will help her file the appropriate court papers.Mom needs to do this quick. Once she's on the books as a kidnapper -- and failure to tell anyone where the baby is will make that possible -- she'll have a very difficult time. If dad understands the court system, he will go file for emergency 'ex parte' custody (meaning he can do it without her there since he doesn't know where she is), get the child declared an endangered minor depending on what cps said or maybe even just based on the child's age and absence, and at that point mom becomes a kidnapper.Mom needs to go to the shelter immediately and stop messing around. Right now there is no legal custody. If dad goes and gets that order, Mom may never recover legally. Get in the shelter and if they agree there was abuse, get her to court. Immediately. If the shelter doesn't seem to think there was abuse, then Mom needs to follow the same rules permanent residents would follow and go to court and file for custody, prepared to go through all the hoops that parents do once the court is in their lives. Mom's friends need to stop hiding her and this baby, they could go to jail too.PS, Lex is an attorney. I'm not. I'm telling you this from personal experience with this topic with a number of different people that we've talked to and worked with. Lex is way more tactful than non-attorneys are.

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