Abandoned

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    • #1957
      Momismyname
      Participant

      My sons dad hasn't been in his life for over 6 years , he hasn't paid support or tried to see him or anything . I kicked him out right before he turned 2 for being abusive and using drugs and I had finally had enough. He refuses to sign over his rights because he wants to “have fun with him when he's older ” and he wants to hurt me and make my son hate me when my son is older . He is impossible to track to get child support and will quit a job to avoid paying . He is in and out of jail and lives with random people . I don't want his money I just want him to not be able to come take my child and I want to change my sons last name . My son doesn't even know about him and knows my fiancé that has raised him since he was 2 as his dad and is now questioning his last name and stuff . What can I do without having to pay a lawyer thousands of dollars ?  I am always scared he is gonna go to my sons school one day and just take him because we have no custody arrangements in place he just kinda left and I can never get in touch with him .

    • #2331
      Lex
      Participant

      To do things right, you're just going to have to pay a professional for advice and for appearing in court.The simplest route is a step-parent adoption. That would mean you have to wait until you are married and, of course, your new husband would have to agree. Secondly, you need court-ordered support that the biological father does not pay. That is one of the best ways to get a step-parent adoption approved.A good investment of money would be to pay for a one-hour consultation with a family lawyer to see how best to set things up along the lines I suggest.

    • #2332
      3kidsmom
      Participant

      One other thing that you could do, when the school tells you dad has rights and they would have to turn child over, yada yada yada….is to smile sweetly and hand them the paper your have prepared for their file that notifies them in writing that they have been warned that the individual is unsafe and that if they allow the child to go with them they will be legally liable and sued individually and severally.Anytime they bring the topic up, smile nicely and say, "You know my position on this." They will be VERY reluctant to turn the child over despite whatever their policy is.This is only a stop gap until you see an attorney. Do get the ball rolling. In addition to not paying child support for six months, there is another clause that makes step-parent adoption grounds when the parent has not contacted the child in six months. So it sounds like you are good to go.

    • #2333
      mskjn
      Participant

      Could a grandparent adopt also if there has been no contact by a parent for six months?

    • #2334
      Lex
      Participant

      In general, no. Step-parent adoptions are very specific and a grandparent would have to a different route.

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