Battle with ex-wife

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    • #3614
      Nightbright
      Participant

      I have been in a battle with my ex for a couple years and it doesn’t seem like it’s going to end anytime soon. I need legal advice from all of y’all to help ending this on-going case.

      Ex wife receives child support and forever alimony. There are two main issues here.
      1. She is trying to increase child support every year.
      2. We are trying to get rid of the alimony.

      Situation: She went back to college and finished her degree after divorce but ended up not using her degree and she is currently in law school. I got promoted and she believes I hide money from her and want to see bank statements. Her lawyer dropped her last year and she is representing herself since she knows how to deal with stuff from her law school. She filed a subpoena to my current wife, to testify for child support case on our trial day and asking my wife to provide bank statements for our joint account. Her reason is because my wife signs and writes a monthly check to her for supports.

      1. We are going to file for harassment. My wife isn’t a party to this case and we feel that she can just subpoena bank statements from me instead of my wife. She also subpoenaed my medical record which has nothing to do with the case. She has no basis to do so. What is the chance that the judge will put a sanction on her for doing this? If the judge puts a sanction on her, will that prevent her from taking a bar exam and becoming a lawyer after she graduates from law school?

      2. Ex wants to see my tax return every year. She is hoping she could increase child support by $30. She is after my money and seems like she would do anything at this point. How can I stop her from filing to increase child support? Since she is representing herself and doesn’t have to pay lawyer fees anymore. She will file whatever she wants. Is there anything I can file to stop her from filing to increase child support annually?

      3. The forever alimony ends when she dies or remarries. Ex has a boyfriend that I strongly believe he supports her. She kept my last name after divorce but a year after she changed her last name to her boyfriend’s. She wears a wedding ring but claims that they did not get married. They spend some nights together during the week. She got a brand new car which I strongly believe her boyfriend has helped her with that. For someone who isn’t working and only receives supports from me shouldn’t be able to afford a brand new car. I feel that they act as if they are married, but I couldn’t find their marriage
      license. What do you suggest I should do on this? She pretty much does everything like a married couple with her boyfriend but doesn’t marry him just so she can continue to receive alimony from me.

      What do y’all think and suggest for my situation?

    • #3615
      Bassmaster
      Participant

      What state is this in?

      There is usually no such thing as permanent alimony. Was it some sort of contractual deal you set up with her? Normally alimony would be over when she got out of law school. Actually, it is not called alimony in Louisiana any more. It is called spousal support (which can be temporary or permanent). That has been the case for a dozen years or so.

    • #3618
      Nightbright
      Participant

      I apologize for the confusion. It’s in Louisiana. I refer to it as alimony but what I mean is permanent spousal support until she remarries. We have a contractual deal. I was in a bad shape, didn’t have a lawyer back then and was willing to do anything to get out of that relationship. Can you suggest a way to get rid of the permanent term?

    • #3687
      Lex
      Keymaster

      You would need to show a change in circumstances -either on your part or hers.

      Was the agreement so lose that it did not include living with someone along with marriage as grounds to end support?

      There are more than a few cases where an ex decides on a financial basis not to re-marry and instead live with the person.

    • #3750
      Old man of the sea
      Participant

      Friend, I truly sympathize with you and fully understand how easy it is to attempt to resolve an intensively emotional matter LEGALLY.

      DIVORCE, often is such a matter, huh?

      To your disadvantage there exists longstanding court judgments that until now you hve complied with…it is now that those orders are starting to have a real impact on your future….and it sux

      Yes, it is possible for you to eventually dig yourself out from under this mess but it will require lots of money and determination.

    • #3853
      3kidsmom
      Participant

      First of all, this is not harassment; it is the way things are done legally.

      Secondly, she can subpoena your wife or the guy that drives the local bus route or the pilot of a shrim boat. The judge has to sign off on subpoenas and the judge knows the rules and decides who to sign and who to not. My first response when looking at this is to say she is pretty smart; there is something called an ‘in-kind’ benefit and looking at this, she is going to allege you are receiveing in-kind benefits from your wife. If she can show this, then your wife’s income WILL come into play to the extent that it benefits you directly. Also given that you married this woman instead of remaining cleverly single, your wife’s income is legally half yours (remember: community property state). To that extent a clever attorney can argue that you have access legally to half of the wife’s income, not to mention a half of any business increase and so on. Is this typical? Not really, unless things are hotly contested (and yours seems to be) or unless the attorney is very clever (and your ex seems clever). Here’s the cool thing. You could argue your ex-wife is receiving in-kind benefits from her boyfriend, but she’d just toss him out and go stay at his place when she wanted some sweetness. There’s no obligation for him to support her or give her money; there IS an obligation for your wife to support you and/or give you money.

      As to going back to court for income increases, there’s a stuatory period that income MUST be reviewed (I think 3 years but I might be out of date on this). So it will happen every statuatory period. In the meantime if she can show that it is likely there was enough of an increase in between to show you would owe more money (“change in circumstance”) or if HER financial position decreases (you refuse to pay the support, for example, leading to a negative change in circumstance on her part), then she can ask for a review. Further, you are supposed to exchange tax returns every year. That’s normal. She’s only expecting you to do what you’re already supposed to be doing.

      So basically you were willing to do anything to get out of the marriage, for whatever reason. Well, you are out of it. Did you have a pre-nuptial agreement with this wife? If you did, you might have been able to keep her assets protected. I’m guessing you didn’t, or she wouldn’t be signing the support checks.

      First lesson in the ex-game: Sign your own checks. Men always think it hurts their exes to get a check from their wife. It doesn’t. It DOES give them more fuel to pour on the fire and effectively proves that you have access to your wife’s money.

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